The Disturbingly Kinky History Of Video Games

This mind-bending little animation is supposed to be an intro to a German documentary about the history of video games... After watching it the whole way through - and gazing in confused disbelief at the last few seconds - I'm pretty sure someone got their definition of 'documentary' wrong. This looks like the intro to a retro gamer porno. Which begs the question: why hasn't anyone thought of this before? 

 

So... ya. What do you think? Via Kotaku.

Beard Yourself

If you have a beard or any other type of facial hair configuration, you will instantly relate to this magnificent tribute to the legendary chin curtain. If you don't have a beard, you will want one after watching this music video. Apart from a fact that it centers on a topic that is close to our hearts (and mouths), it's also not such a bad song either. Catchy, y'know?

Share with all your furry friends! Have a hairy Friday! Via The Chive.

Bad Lip Reading: Edward and Bella

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen for sure. It's just so delightfully random. If you'd like to see what Twilight would sound like with its audio replaced with hilarious, non-sensical one liners, then watch the video below. The funniest part is, it's not even that much worse than the actual dialogue in Twilight... In fact I think this is a major improvement.

This video is courtesy of Bad Lip Reading, the geniuses behind that Mitt Romney parody video and the fucking brilliant Michael Bublé remake, Russian Unicorn. Do yourself a favour and check them out.

First World Problems - A Short Film

By now, you must surely know about the First World Problems meme. If you don't, here you go - you're welcome. A few weeks ago, my brother Dax and I were bored at home on a Sunday and decided to shoot a short video rendition of the first world problems meme. I guess it ended up looking something like a black and white wannabe french art movie about an over-privileged bachelor… we have a lot of fun. I digress, if you've ever been down in the dumps because you've run out of coffee or received the wrong sized Big Mac, this video is for you. Do it.

Happy Fri/payday!

10 Things To Do On Women's Day

The title of this post might seem a bit misleading, as it isn't really 10 things to do on Women's Day so much as 5 things to do on Women's Day for women, and 5 things to do on Women's Day for men... Unless you're both of the above, in which case, well done. So let's get this show on the road shall we? Oh! Before I start, thanks @ShellsPemBroke for inspiring me to write this post. You're a Woman of the people! So here goes...

Things to do on Women's Day for women:

1. Give thanks - Just because you're a woman, it doesn't mean you're the only woman in the world. It's International Women's Day. Send your mom a nice long email; you have plenty of time. Visit your grandmother with a box of chocolates (or a bottle of wine depending on how much she likes to/is still able to party). Take your daughter to lunch. Call up your lady friends and arrange a girls' night out. Capture it all on film.
2. Don't give thanks - And by this, I mean, take the opportunity to speak up about something that you disagree with. Not that you shouldn't be doing this already - but make a point of it, woman! Is there a guy at work constantly slapping your ass and/or making disgusting attempts at sexual innuendos? Kick him anywhere between the shins and balls depending on the severity of his offenses. Do you suffer from a serial stalker who posts slimy comments on your Facebook photos? Delete him as a friend, but only after taking a screenshot and mailing it to his wife. After all, it's Women's Day for her too.
3. Eat ALL the food - Seriously, don't think twice before devouring that chocolate donut sandwich and side-order of entire chickens. The world is your oyster, so f**king eat it. Forget about stuff like calories and carbs, they're just words anyway. Have your cake AND eat it. You can starve yourself and lament in front of the mirror any of the other 364 days in the year.
4. Watch chick flicks - Go on a date and watch Girl In Progress or What To Expect When You're Expecting or whatever the hell you people enjoy. The point is not to force a guy to watch a chick flick, it's to force a guy to watch what YOU want to watch - so if you happen to choose The Dark Knight of The Dictator, then bonus lady points for you.
5. Support a cause - Let's face it. Women's Day isn't just about acknowledging the fact that you're a woman. You've known that since you came out of that other woman. Support a cause; make a donation, volunteer locally. Help out rape victims at your local Choices or whatever. Act on what is closest to your heart.

Things to do on Women's Day for men:

1. A woman - This should seem obvious, but I'll say it anyway. Give a woman some loving. Of course, make sure it's consensual, or you might fall victim to above point number 2 (or worse). Make it romantic too; none of this quickie bullshit. I'm talking scented candles, mood music and sensual lighting. Do it.
2. Give chocolate - Give a woman chocolate. Everyone likes chocolate. If they don't, not only are they not a woman, they aren't even a human. Send them back on the next Curiosity Rover. To return to my original point though: as Forrest Gump once said "Life is like a box of chocolates; you've gotta give it to a woman". Or something.
3. Show some respec' - Maybe chivalry is dead. Maybe it isn't. Regardless. Open the car door for a lady. Give her right of way when walking through a door. Maybe you think this is lame but it isn't. Chicks dig that shit, and if the girl you're with doesn't dig it, then you probably shouldn't be with her in the first place.
4. Hold your tongue - I realise that it's now considered almost normal practice to refer to the fairer sex as bitches, chicks, broads, betties and a variety of similar synonyms. I do it. In fact I did it in the paragraph above (luckily I wrote this post yesterday) - but just for today, when you're about to say one of the above words, substitute it with a more appropriate, gentlemanly one.
5. Support a cause - That's right. This one is for you too. In fact, it is especially so. Donate money, lend a hand or help your lady out at the shelter. Whatever you do, do it for the women, man! It's just one day. After that you can go on gargling beer, ordering for more sandwiches and watching Olympics while your girlfriend vacuums the entire house and cries. Jokes.

Okay, have fun. Bye!

The Dark Knight Binges (Parody)

I haven't yet seen the last film in The Dark Knight trilogy, so I don't even think I can fully appreciate the magnitude of the humour involved in the following parody video. I'm sure - once I've stopped making excuses and paid the cinema and Bruce Wayne a visit - I'll be able to add a few extra funny layers of understanding to this video - kinda like a hilarious sandwich. Right now though, I'm enjoying the cheese.

Have a nice day now.

Friday Funny: Badman Begins

Imagine my utter shock and surprise when, while browsing through my Facebook homepage and Twitter timeline this morning, I learnt that it is, in fact, Friday - the last day of the working week. Who'd've thought!? Without further ado, I give you this Friday Funny.

Peace yo.

Zombie Inception Drawing

I know right, the title of this post is impossible to ignore; there is just too much awesome. Remember earlier this week, when I mentioned an upcoming post about drawing? Well this is what I was talking about, and if you're interested in this particular artistic outlet, then you'd do well to subscribe to marydoodles' YouTube Channel.

You can follow marydoodles on Twitter too; it looks like she gets a lot of her ideas from tweeted suggestions. Later.

Monday Inspiration: Think Outside The Box

First, watch the video below...

Pretty cool right? Now, to be honest, the stop-motion clip above has little to nothing to do with the point of this post, but think of it as an extended metaphor for thinking outside the box. I digress. I often find myself stuck in a state of mental block; wandering aimlessly, mumbling random phrases until I find something that works for whatever I may be doing at the time. Lately, I've been trying to kick-start my brain into thinking differently by experimenting with a few things. I've found that the tips below can trick your mind into tackling a problem in a new (sometimes more effective) way - often forcing you to rethink an entire situation. So here they are, in no particular order.

• Say YES to random
  Stop what you're doing. Look at something else. Take a walk with someone. Make tea instead of coffee. Break a habit for a while. Do something you wouldn't normally do. Surprise yourself.
• Get a kid's opinion
  Often, a child will cut straight to the heart of a problem because they're not really too focused on the details. I don't believe that kids have some unspoken wisdom that adults slowly lose as they become conditioned by external influences, but I think kids will always offer some kind of fresh insight.
• Do it in reverse
  What is your goal? Fantastic. Now use that as a starting point and work backwards until you've reached where you are now. It's actually harder than it sounds, but it's like jogging for your brain. If you play guitar and have ever tried playing the other way around, you'll notice that you have to rethink the shape of every chord and strumming pattern. It's the same with any other activity.
• Doodle
  It doesn't have to be a masterpiece. Just doodle something. Get your thoughts out on paper so you can make room for some new ones. (Also, I've got a great drawing-related post coming up later this week, so keep an eye out for that).
• Think in terms of another industry
  Reading up on the best practices and processes of another industry can often lead to helpful insights that might apply to your own line of work. As the saying goes, there is more than one way to skin a cat, so if your job is skinning cats for a living, you've got your work cut out for you. Lastly...
• Take a shower
  This is my favourite one, and it totally works. The shower is a beautiful place. Just you, your thoughts and your naked body trapped inside a cubicle while your dirt is washed away by jets of water. It's probably the purist thing we can do as humans and often leads to great ideas (like a luminous shower head that changes colour according to the temperature of the water!).

Well, I hope this has helped... or at least taken your mind off work for a while. Go now, and vanquish this week!

Madvertising: It All Started With A BACARDI Party

What do free running, texting, planking, vibrating mobile phones, video games and music downloads have in common? Well, until recently, the origins of the above-mentioned activities have been a mystery (for the most part). Now, thanks to BACARDI, there is an answer.

Yup. Amazing things have been starting at BACARDI parties for years. Want proof? Join BACARDI and the Wedding DJs at this party and see for yourself. And you can check out the rest of the BACARDI: It Started With A Party videos here. Later.

How To Write A Formal Apology

If you've ever had to write a formal apology, you probably will have noticed that it's a pretty hard thing to do while maintaining a sincere tone. This - I believe - is because people don't like apologising, even when they know they're wrong about something. Even worse is when you're right about something, but you're being forced into writing a formal apology because of circumstances that are out of your control. The following document breaks it down so that you don't have to. It even has a sincerity scale so you can stipulate just how serious you are.

Just click on the picture to view the high-res version. Happy Humpday!

Monday Funny - Treadmill Fail Compilation

Yes, it's Monday, I know. If you're anything like me, you're also still trying to figure out just what the hell happened between 'Friday drinks after work' and the sour taste of despair in your mouth this morning. Yes, it's one of those days. You know the kind: one of those days where it's cold outside, but for some reason you're sweating underneath your clothes. What's up with that? One of those days where you need to take a shower after you've showered to get the shower off you. One of those days where your eyes are really only open because you're afraid someone is about to throw something at you... In other words: Monday Syndrome. Which makes this next video particularly apt.

Thanks for sharing this @Rouleaux! Have a good week people.

Game Of Fuckin' Thrones

Game of Thrones -- sorry, GoT -- is the best epic fantasy to ever be adapted for television (it is known). Now that I'm out of fresh episodes to watch, videos like the one below are going to be the only thing keeping me from plummeting into a pit of anguish, induced by a lack of witty imps, bitch queens and decapitations that don't quite cut it. Enjoy!

Fuckin' Game of Thrones. Thanks for sharing @DiscordianKitty!

What Makes A Real Rock 'N Roller?

Today is the birthing day of my good friend and co-musician from Mister & Misread, Fourie Pretorius - known to his friends as The Fury or Rock 'n Roller. But what makes a real Rock 'n Roller? In the clip below, The Fury himself explains exactly what it takes.

 

Follow @ROCKandROLA.

Are You A True Cat Person?

I often hear people saying "I'm a cat person". Obviously, they like cats. But I've never taken it literally - and I wish I had, because it has vast potential to be fucking hilarious. Imagine having to turn around 4 times before sitting down... or finding endless amusement from a ball of string. These are the days of our cat lives, and the guy in the following video is living them.

Yes. Once again, the credit for finding this gem goes to @saskiaredivo, Lady of Many Links.

This Video Just Made My Whole Life

O Fortuna. Everyone's heard it. Everyone immediately thinks of it whenever something epic happens. It's in just about every movie you've ever seen. Yet no one knows the words. Today, we have the answer. I'm pretty sure this is a very lose translation of the original 13th century Latin poem. Enjoy.

Thanks for sharing this @DaxFrost. Have a great weekend everybody.

If You Could Photoshop In Real Life

If you could Photoshop the real world, what would you do? I think the first task on my agenda would be to create a few clean layers for my bedroom, or maybe I'd put a Sepia filter on an old person, just to be ironic. Perhaps I would adjust the colour settings of the entire c(o)untry in light of the last few weeks of racist outburst on social networks. Check out the below pictures for practical applications for real-life Photoshop. (Click 'See More if you can't see all of the pictures)

Fight Or Flight

We all liked dinosaurs as kids... didn't we? Well, I know I did - and still do. I remember feeling incredibly rebellious while watching Jurassic Park at home alone after my parents told me I was too young to see it. I'm sorry, I thought, but how can anyone be too young for dinosaurs? Turns out you can be too young for dinosaurs, and we never did get the carpet clean. Anyway, the following video is an example of how to handle a dinosaur encounter the smart way.

Of course, if it were a Velociraptor, the boy would've been brutally gutted before he even had the chance to comprehend what he was seeing but - as the saying goes, and in light of the above video - baby steps.

Are You Going To Buy An Instagram Camera?

What did Instagram do with its $1 billion from Facebook? They made their own camera! Okay, that's a blatant lie - but it works fantastically for link bait. This tongue-in-cheek camera allows you to share Hipstergram photos in real life (or 'IRL' apparently...) with all the fancy filters and borders for which the app is so well known. Whether you love or hate the Instagram photo app, this video will get you chuckling.

Hope you all had a good long weekend!

Like A Moth To A Flame

This is brilliant. Couldn't resist a dedicated post.

Sometimes, it's worth getting burnt.